Monday, September 29, 2008

The Joker's Views: Political Bumper Stickers

Good evening Arkham! As we head into the final month of campaigning before we select our preferred method of Apocalypse, I think it is vital that we fully understand just how thoroughly screwed we are! From what I can gather from the outside world, the stock market plunged 777 plus points today, and the economy is so banged up, Treasury Secretary Henry Paulsen is asking Congress to have it “humanely put-down”. I guess he figures he'll at least get a "dead cat bounce" out of the whole thing.

Former Fed Chairman Alan Greenspan not only expressed his exuberant delight at being “retired”, but also speculated that even gravity is going to be out of work before this is all over. That explains the hundreds of Wall Street execs jumping off buildings now to beat the slowdown.

Be that as it may, all you people who are currently not incarcerated still have to vote. All the arguments about who is and who is not fit to lead and/or be vice-President remind me of the scene in “Julius Caesar" where Anthony and Octavius argue about the suitability of the “older” Lepidius. I overheard them talking about it down by the rec room just this morning:

"Yeah, well, you can think what you want, but Lepidius is a tried and true solider, and dependable.”

"So's my freaking horse! And all he gets is hay and a pasture to run around in. Why don't we just make him part of the ruling council, too?"

And the debate goes on. Likewise, in a rush to reflect the voter’s newly emerging concerns about which candidate gets to take over the asylum, a new crop of political bumper stickers are hitting the market. Perot had one ready to go months ago...unfortunately he was in HERE and not considered a legitimate contender. But, I think his bumper sticker suggestion, “That sucking sound you hear is you, Sucker!” is a sure winner...unlike him in 1996. But the world just wasn’t ready for Yosemite Sam for president back then. Now that the Age of Jethro is almost over, who knows...perhaps Perot might still find himself the Master-Blaster over whatever wasteland is left after the financial dust settles. But, really, who WANTS to run Barter Town after all that? There won't be anything left to barter with....AH, HA, HA, HAAAA!

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