The Joker’s Muse: Political Conventions

It’s the convention season again when the two major parties trot out their respective Frankenstein monsters to terrify the villagers…er….I mean the voters. Looking at it from my perspective (i.e. through bars on the window), the candidates are just two sides of the same monster. The only difference is how the Frankensteins were assembled. The Republicans prefer to reconstruct the entire monster from scratch and just drop in the same brain they’ve kept in a jar since Reagan. The Democrats have a quicker process and swap out the entire head, but still hobble it to a slow, clumsy body that pulls to the left.

This year, we’re presented with Frankenberry and the Obamable Showman as the main attractions. While on the surface they appear similar, one need only look beneath the thin veneer surrounding the animated corpses to see…we are sooooo screwed! Shelly described the dark art known as the nomination process the best: “Darkness had no effect upon my fancy; and a churchyard was to me merely the receptacle of bodies deprived of life, which, from being the seat of beauty and strength, had become food for the worm.” But enough about Edwards.

As part of my therapy, Dr. Crane suggested I put together an overview of the candidates. Not that it’ll matter much here in Arkham since the mentally impaired can’t vote anyway.
In theory, that is. Not only can do the mentally impaired vote, they occasionally run for President. And sometimes, they don’t know when to quit. So while the Democrats finalize whose head will finally sit on top of their monster in November, the Republicans are trying to curtail their monster’s nasty habit of killing hobos who wander too close to his condo. Or is it condos? I’ll get back to you on that after the Bride of Frankenstein gets back to me…AH, HA, HAA, HAAA! In the meantime, let’s examine the monsters in more detail. One disclaimer….after next week, there could be a new head on that body for the Democrats. Who knows with that bunch....